Who Needs Forgiveness?

Just back from some sweet worship at the Gathering Place with our faith community. Only speaking for myself, but music can make or break it for me on a Sunday. Today it made it, especially ending with the doxology. Right now U2 is cranked in the background, "Jesus Christ" is the song.

Today I found myself thinking about forgiving God. The idea itself maybe somewhat absurd, forgive God of what?

Last night I was at a wonderful gathering of friends celebrating a birthday. In the fellowship of it all, I ended up being part of a conversation reflecting on the tragedy of a child who die, in that instant, the lives of those on earth were changed forever. It brought me back to thinking of the five students that I've taught who have died in car accidents. It brought me back to thinking of a women in our faith community who lost a battle to cancer two weeks ago. It brought me back to a miscarriage we had a 18 months ago. It brought me back thinking of a friend I have whose parent is battling Alzheimers. Last night on our way home from the party, we were passed by an ambulance and a firetruck. It ended up stopping a few blocks from our home. As we passed by the person's place, I muttered to Bev "someone's life might have just changed forever."

It made me want to forgive God.

Oh, I know it's not Him. But I do know that people get so cyncial of God, and maybe what stands in the way is that they need to forgive God for allowing all the shit in their lives to be there. Yes, I know we need forgiveness. Yes, I know that we are broken and responsible for the brokenness and pain, but God seems big enough and strong enough to handle what we throw at Him. Do I really blame God for what these people have gone through? No, but if I need to blame someone, then I think He is okay to put all that grief and doubt and blame onto Him. Maybe forgiving God is what it takes to slowly heal some of the pain and grief, maybe it's part of the healing process. If compassion is "a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it" (thanks William), then I believe "the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love." He is aware of our suffering, and if forgiving Him helps to relieve it, then so be it.