Thank you Tim.

The cast is off, my class is over, and I've visited the in-laws. Summer can officially start. We just got back from three weeks in the midwest, where it was almost 100 degrees (American-not sure of the conversion rate) and the humidity was intense. Did you know you can buy a large house on a large lot in South Dakota for a few thousand dollars? Actually, you could probably buy South Dakota for a few thousand dollars! I could talk about a reformed worldview in education, serious issues affecting Christian education, or why my former colleges decision to start a football program is a complete waste of money, but I digress and will get to the heart of the issue.

It was a troubling trip for one primary reason: the inability to get a strong cup of coffee. After three weeks south of the border, it was almost laughable (and Bev was laughing at me) how much bad coffee I had. The effort was great, but the coffee was very, very sketchy. If you plan on traveling through the United States, here is a guide from the worst to the best. One thing to keep in mind: I grabbed a large Tim Hortons right before we crossed the border so everything was judged in that light..

10) Conoco Gas Station in Bozeman, MT: I needed to grab a cup of coffee before a 12 hour drive back to B.C. To be safe, I grabbed a French Vanilla Capuccino from a machine that all American gas stations seem to possess. It was terrible. The key here was they only charged me for a large coffee when in fact I got an extra large cappucino. Even with the savings, it was a disaster. I can not express to you how sweet this was; it was as if I had melted Skittles mixed in hot water. By the time I got to Missoula I had the shakes and my blood sugar was out of wack I needed to pull over. Seriously.

9 ) Stanwood, WA Rest Area: The bonus of traveling through Washington is that most rest areas have non-profit groups handing out free coffee and baking. They ask for a donation, which is a prime time to get rid of the festering Canadian change you won't need for the next couple of weeks. The people serving the coffee are very, very kind. Kudos to non profit groups and free coffee, but it was as strong as a mild cup of tea, and the old coffee mate was a health risk.

8) Starbucks in Ellensburg, WA: In an attempt not to overindulge, I asked the "barrister" to recommend something cold and light. She did some awesome sales job on something that sounded delicious and smooth. It was seriously cold coffee in ice. I remarked when I got it that it looked like it was cold coffee in ice. She said "that is exactly what it is." Huh? I hate cold coffee, and I hate me for trying to drink something cold and light? I can now describe cold Starbucks coffee with the same adjectives I use when I talk about American beer.

7) Krispy Kreme in Sioux Falls, South Dakota: I got up at 6:00 a.m. to drive an hour away to my first day of class. Sioux Falls is a growing city that doesn't not have one coffee shop open that early. I went for the donut place. Good donuts=good coffee? No. It was hot like crazy and the lid kept falling off. It was a sweet way to start my first day of class: "Hello, my name is Matthew, and I can't drink coffee out of a Krispy Kreme cup."

6) Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa: My alma mater that has 10% Canadian population should have some idea of how to make coffee. I don't even know how to describe this coffee disaster, but my search for good coffee did not end on the upper floor of the classroom building in Northwest Iowa. They know what TULIP is in this reformed mecca, and this coffee was Totally depraved.

5) Casey's Bakery in Sioux Center, Iowa: Okay, this is where things started to improve. I grabbed this coffee after my Krispy Kreme disaster. It definitely had a bit more punch, there was various creams to choose from, but no real sugar. I limped into class with coffee stains and was slurring my words.

4) Mother in-law's place: Let's be honest, this could be #9 0r #10. This has actually nothing to do with my mother in law and everything to do with my dear brother in law. Al is a coffee fiend. He drinks lots and lots of coffee every day. Black coffee. What a man. But seriously Al, you need more than two scoops of grounds to make 8 cups of coffee. The man has no hair on his chest and this is why. He also took my cast off my wrist with nothing more than a two inch blade, and for that McGyver ingenuity I honor him with spot #4.

3) Schelhaas home: We have now entered good coffee territory. Thank you to my hosts in Iowa. The coffee was fresh, strong, and ready to go every morning at 7:00 a.m. Mental note: not many people in America have cream in their fridge, so it was here I started adjusting to 1% milk.

2) Small drive through coffee place in middle of nowhere: I am not sure if you have every driven through Belle Fourche, South Dakota, but if you do, stop at the local Espresso shop near the Subway on your way out of "town." Great coffee, real cream, cheap price, interesting barrister. "Dude, Canada...you don't really need a snowmobile all year do you?"

1) Clary and Stacey's place: I expected nothing less from transplanted Canadians who are used to standing up a stir stick in their coffee. Clary makes strong beer, but it makes my stomach and bowels do weird things. Clary makes strong coffee, and it tastes great. The key here is they have a coffee maker that grinds fresh beans and automatically deposits them into the filter. These Americans think of everything.