In the Core of My Heart

A friend named Jenny wrote this poem and gave me permission to share it with you today:

Something unsettled that lies deeper than the pit of my stomach.

Something on alert in the core of my heart.

Just a few days ago
I was shouting HALLELUJAH,
waving palm branches,
excited at what was coming,
seeing the Kingdom of God
arriving from up the road
carried on the back of a donkey.

Oh, the illusion of feeling in charge.
Of thinking I 'got it'.
Of believing that I'd be exalted, too.

It's Wednesday of Holy Week.
The palm branches are withered.
The donkey is back in the field.

There's so much that has to happen and no one is making inroads and it's been so long already and yet the Kingdom is still not here and the tide is turning so I'm flexing my muscles and polishing my armour, I'm primed to fight and I've sharpened my sword and filled my quiver with arrows - I'm ready to stand and shed blood for the Lord.

This unrest.
This turmoil in my soul.
Not knowing what's coming makes me want to just DO SOMETHING.

And there's Christ
right over there.
Letting it all wash over him.
Giving himself over to everything.
Not saying anything to turn this around.
To show who he is.
What he is.
Praying instead of resisting.
(Not that I am against praying, of course, but come ON!)

The donkey!
They put him on a donkey!

Makes me wonder what else
he'll let them do to him
before this is all done.