To Know as we are Known

There came a point today where it suddenly occurred to me that I’ve never really looked and studied Madelyn. In all the questions of why her heart rate is up to 190 (it usually is when they are changing tubes) or why her respiratory rate is down to 29 (just resting as she is working hard), and is her feeding tube supposed to be pulled out (no, but 32 week babies move around a lot, ask any woman who has bruised ribs from the baby in their womb); I’ve actually spent little time studying a girl who brings new meaning to Psalm 139 (read it to yourself with one of these pictures up in front of you on the screen).

So after joyfully giving friends and family many tours today; I decided to head down to the Intensive Care Unit myself and sit next to the incubator. I just sat there. And I sat. I moved from one side of the incubator to the other. Then I stared at her from the top. I stood back and tried to take her all in (not hard when you are only 1200 grams, harder when you consider all the tubes and plumbing everywhere), and then I moved in really close, counting ribs, toes, and hairs; I looked at her pointy elbows and rounded heels. I stared at her until she opened her eyes and stared back. I wondered when her eyebrows would grow or when her chest wouldn’t cave in with every breath she took. I watched her skin turn really red as she cried and then work itself back to a golden brown as she relaxed herself. I looked at her mouth and decided that she looked most like Emma, then I studied the spacing of her eyes and decided she actually resembled Anneke, and I watched her kick her feet out and be determined and knew she was more like Corina. Then I saw her for the amazing, tiny creature God created, and was sure it could only be Madelyn.

The prayer request for Bev tonight is that her blood pressure goes down. She probably over did it today as her BP has moved back to very high. The doctors have requested a slow down on visitors and limited to family. The requests to visit are awesome, and will definitely be possible later this week, but Wednesday needs to be a down day. It is somewhat of a setback as it meant Bev was not allowed to visit Madelyn tonight. I spoke to her on the phone a few minutes ago and our nurse from downstairs came and shared how wonderful Madelyn is doing. While it was tough not to visit, she was also encouraged by the pictures and reports of a baby that so far has the health of a full term baby, just really small.

Bev was moved last night from the maternity ward from the High Risk Pregnancy Wing. We spent the afternoon reading over all the emails we have received from you, all with their own unique words that have provided us with encouragement, laughter, and tears. From crying when someone ended their letter with “Jesus tender shepherd hear me, bless this little lamb tonight” to “He [God] has her in the hollow of His hand” to “It was a night full of surprises in Bethlehem 200o years ago too”. I said to someone yesterday that we really cannot grasp the reality of how many people have offered up prayers on our behalf; it is something we can only imagine and give thanks. But, please know that you cannot grasp how thankful we truly are for all that you have done. There are no words I can use that would accurately describe the joy and thankfulness we had in our hearts as we read all your emails. We have heard from people from Holland, Ontario, Colorado, Montana, California and many other places; people who simply have heard this story and passed on an email of encouragement.

So all I can do is simply say “Thank you” and ask for a special blessing on all of you this evening:

The Amazing Grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you. Amen

2 Corinthians 13